Unmotivated..

Usually when I'm moving on a project I can jump right in the next day. I actually sent in a fiction proposal yesterday (Yay!!!) and am almost finished a chapter on the next one.

So I got up this morning and came to the computer all but now I don't feel like doing anything! Actually I want to go downstairs and watch the Gilmore Girls I have Tivo'd. If this were a "real job", I couldn't even entertain these thoughts, much less carry them out.

It would be something like this:

Me: I'm just not feeling it today.

Boss: Oh really?

Me: Yeah, I think I'll just read my novel today...you know get inspired. Or surf the net. For research of course.

Boss: So you're not planning on actually working?

Me: I have to think to be able to work. I need "think time" today. (I smile after taking a sip of my Starbucks because I would totally go there before going to work but there's not one located between my bedroom and the computer room unfortunately.)

Boss: I don't pay you to think.

Me: You should, thinking is an important part of it all.

Boss: You're Fired! (Ouch, been through that one before though for very different reasons)

So now you see, I'm blogging. Still unmotivated.

The whole "put your butt in the chair and write thing" has a lot of truth to it. If we don't actually write we don't actually get anything finished. I'm sure there are tons of people out there who have been "thinking" about a novel their entire lives but never actually write the thing.

But as a creative person, I actually prefer to work when the mood strikes me. It's times like those that I can tear through page after page barely stopping to think about anything. It's days like this where yes, I will write, but it will be more of a slow thoughtful plodding that will likely leave me feeling like I still didn't accomplish much anyway and maybe I should have just watched Gilmore Girls (see how I'm trying to convince myself to go back downstairs?)

Deadlines don't give you the luxury of mood. So I will stare at my computer and close my e-mail (so it won't give me a Pavlov dog response when it pings letting me know there's more mail) and try to write.

Chances are, like exercise, I'll feel great once I get going on it. At least I hope so.

It's the "getting going" that I'm having a hard time with this morning. If only Starbucks delivered...now there's a concept.