Not very fun

I have been working on a series of devotionals the last week or so - a new area for me but since it reminds me of blogging I've been enjoying it.

For the most part.

You see, the problem is that every time I sit down to write one I find God convicting my heart about my own shortcomings. I am able to sit down and craft these thoughts yet I am painfully aware that I haven't learned these lessons myself. Last year I was asked to put together a proposal about loss and within a month I had lost my brand-new puppy during surgery and my father to cancer. It makes me nervous to sit down and write sometimes.

Like today, I'm sitting here trying to decide what devotionals to write today and I know the minute I sit down to do it I will be reminded of something God wants to teach me.

Sigh.

It would be so much easier if I could just teach others instead of getting the double dose myself. But God isn't one to waste an opportunity to shape us, is he?