Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Letting Off Steam

When our family visited Lancaster, PA a few weeks ago, we took a ride on the Strasburg Railroad. It was a beautiful day riding through the Pennsylvania countryside and the kids loved using the little Cranky cars to propel themselves around a little track. The engineer would pull that cord on the Cagney Train and let off the steam that had built up inside the steam engine with a loud blast.

So I think that's what happened to me last night. The pressure had built up and built up to the point that I thought I would explode.

"I just can't do it all." I cried last night. "I'm only one person."

"How can I help? What can I do?" my husband asked. (They do tend to want to fix things after all.)

"I don't know." And I just sobbed some more.

Afterwards I felt, well, better. It was like crying and admitting the pressure helped to release that steam just like those old steam engines.

So after I stopped crying I started cleaning. I don't know why I get this urge to vacuum and clean when I'm upset, but I do. I tackle it with all my frustration and with the house looking a little better and the steam let off, I went to bed, too tired to argue with myself anymore.

I know that there are some things I can do nothing about (our finances for example) and other things I can (maybe I need to get up a bit earlier in the morning to try to catch up on some work) and I need to take a look at those things.

But last week my husband and I shared the story of Peter walking on the water out to Jesus with my daughter's four year old class. Peter did just fine on the water when he was looking at Jesus. But when he looked around at the waves, that's when he started to sink. "Oh, you of little faith. Why did you doubt?" Jesus asked him.

And that's my problem in a nutshell. Looking at the circumstances rather than Jesus. Walking in fear, rather than faith. Believing what I see rather than what He says.


I know He's trying to shape me and form me. I know that the pressure I'm under is for my good and not my destruction. But I have to admit, I'm thankful that a good cry really does let off steam.

Stop by anytime, we're always open.