Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Sucker punched

Why is that Christians will behave in ways that the world wouldn't even conceive of? Why is that the church feels permitted to do unkind things and then if you don't like it then you are simply being immature?

I want to rant, scream and yell, yet feel that if I did so, then I would be seen as the one with the problem.

Is it good and right for the church to be unfair and invoke the name of God as the reason? So then, if we have a problem with it, it is God Himself we have a problem with?

I don't think that just because God will use a wrongdoing to make us more like Him is a valid reason for the church to do wrong. Do you?

Yet, as usual, it doesn't really matter what I think. And that's why I'm so sad. I will cry and rant to God and ultimately, I will have to forgive and let it go, and watch others get away with treating people like a mere commodity that is completely replaceable. Like just another cog in the machine. Like I really don't matter.

Some days it just all makes me sick to my stomach. Today is one of those days. I feel like I've been bled dry and I don't have another ounce to give.

Oh Lord, I love you so much. But boy is it hard to love your people sometimes!