Wednesday, September 20, 2006

I'm a grown-up

Every once in a while I get this little thought that amazes me.

"I'm a grown up."

I know that sounds like such a Duh! thing (and perhaps I'm the only one who feels that way) but the oddest things make me feel that way.

Sometimes it hits me when I'm out late at night.

Today I swung by my local Starbucks to grab a coffee on our first chilly day of the fall. I left with my purse on my arm and coffee in my hand and was just amazed that this was me.

Maybe it's because I don't feel all that different from when I was in high school. I'm still occasionally insecure (though over different things). I still can't play sports with any proficiency. I still wonder what I'll be when I grow up.

I am amazed that I have a husband, three kids, five books and drive carpool in my minivan. Who is this person? I think. How did I get here? Wasn't it just yesterday that I was bemoaning my lack of a date for Homecoming? Wasn't it just last week that I got caught stealing candy from the Cumberland Farms?

I know it so cliche but time just flies by. So fast in fact that my brain can't seem to keep up with the clock. Which leads to the amazement that I am old enough to have all these things. I am grateful, but occasionally perplexed that I have actually grown older. The kids I worked with in youth group are having babies of their own. People that I hung out with in college are paying private school tuition now.

It's all so strange.

So tell me - let me know I'm not crazy. Do you ever have those moments where you think, "Wow. I'm a grown up."