Tuesday, April 25, 2006

I think it's the prayer.

I feel a little better today. Not so panicked. When I looked at my daughter's wildly purple face today my heart didn't feel like it was an orange being squeezed for juice.

I think she'll be okay.

That's just the prayer talking though. Other than making that quick post right after it happened, I didn't tell any real people (as opposed to the Internet people) what happened. Yesterday, after a day of crying on the floor of the kitchen (insurance companies are so MEAN!), I finally sent out some e-mails to Internet people and a few real people to tell them what happened and to ask for prayer.

And today I feel better. Like I'm going to be able to get through this. That my daughter will get through this. Hopefully my checkbook will get through this as well.

Some of us have natures that make us reach out to others, and some of us have natures that make us withdraw. I am obviously the withdrawing type. Unless I feel really close to someone (and I've mentioned how that is going) I won't reach out (or make really little pathetic attempts.) So it wasn't till the e-mails yesterday that I finally asked for help.

And I actually feel better. Go figure.

It's not over with yet...but if people are praying (real and otherwise) then maybe I can let God carry everything.