I get migraines.
I still remember getting my first migraine at 16 and wondering if perhaps I was going blind right there in Sweet Eileen's Cafe. The spots in my eyes came on suddenly and were so bad that I couldn't actually see the register. A pastor who came by every morning for coffee was there when it happened and he walked me back to my boarding house so that I could lay down.
Then the headache came. The kind of blinding pain that makes you wonder if death would be easier. A few days later I recovered, but the migraines have been a very unpleasant part of my life ever since.
When you suffer from migraines, you get a lot of unsolicited advice. Trust me. I've heard it all. I've tried it all. I've gotten prayed for more times that I care to count. I've gotten rid of stuff that triggers them (like aspartame). I went to a chiropractor for long periods (until I just couldn't afford to go anymore and was still getting them). I've tried preventative medicine (my hands went numb - I'm hyper sensitive to meds). I've begged and pleaded with God.
There are times that I go weeks, even months, between them. And then other times where I get them more frequently. Mine, at least sometimes, appear to be related to the girl-cycle. Yeah, not much I can do about that. Sometimes I'll get them because of the glare outside. Only so much you can do about that. And sometimes, there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason at all.
I got a migraine Christmas Eve, and then last Thursday, I got another one. And it was a doozy. Friday was a total blur. Saturday my little one had a cheerleading competition. Ever been to one of those? Yeah. Lots of loud music and pulsating lights. Not really a good place for someone still recovering from a migraine. Admittedly, that probably set me back a bit. It wasn't until Sunday that I started to feel better.
And it wasn't until today that I actually thought about getting back to Jillian. While I realize that there was nothing I could do about the sequence of events that precluded me from working out - I still felt - defeated. Like I had failed in some way. Instead of giving myself permission to heal, I felt guilty for not doing what I had committed to do.
It's ridiculous really. And I realize I've let this type of thing completely derail me before. You get some momentum, and then something happens. Then time passes and you never quite get back on the tracks again. But as I thought about this today, I realized that I don't have to let this derail me. It was more like a pit stop. I had to pull over to get some rest and recover but I can get right back into the race. I could choose to have a different mindset about it. I could choose to get back into the race.
So today was Level 2/Day 4. I knew that it would be hard after several days off. But I get through it. And I must say, even though the planks still are pure torture and that second cardio sequence is killer, it's awfully nice to be back in the race...
Labels: 30 day shred, Jillian, migraines